Chugging Doughuts

I realize you can’t chug doughnuts, but that’s essentially what I’ve been doing all day. It hasn’t been pretty. I’m down to my last little chunk of chocolate now. It’s sitting on a ragged paper towel, and it looks so sad all by itself.

I’m currently trying to decide if I want to make a big, life-altering decision. It seems like the right decision, but it’s a tough one because it’d take me away from something I love. Very much. At the same time, though, it’d also remove an incredibly toxic element from my life, and I think that makes it a positive choice.

But as of now, I’m just hanging in limbo — trying to decide if it’s right or if I’m acting in haste and convenience. If I’m not being tolerant enough or just too impacted by past events.

If only there was some sort of crystal ball or 100 percent accurate psychic or physical god hangin’ on earth that I could consult. Wouldn’t that be simple?

Can you imagine if we just had a few freebie cards that we could use throughout our lives when we desperately needed appropriate guidance but couldn’t find our ways worth a shit? I’d love it if we could just hand one of those little cards in and say, “Okay, ball-god-psychic. Tell me which path to take right now, in this moment. The path that will lead to more fulfillment down the line.”

Alas, we’re stuck with our own brains for pathway pavements and sometimes that’s not too reassuring.

I think sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’re all flawed and sometimes crappy. That the best thing to do isn’t always straightforward or simple. That everyone has their issues and you can’t cliche-wrap your life.

I’m still looking at this last doughnut. I won’t have the certain-and-right answer to my big-life-decision by the time I finish it, but that’s okay.

At least all paths spiral onward.